Diary of Binu Ghttp://redhacker.rediffiland.com/Diary of Binu Gen-usStudy: Chinese Herbs May Be Best at Relieving Menstrual Pain a study involving nearly 3,500 women in several countries suggests Chinese herbs may be more effective in relieving menstrual cramps than drugs, acupuncture or heat compression.
"All available measures of effectiveness confirmed the overall superiority of Chinese herbal medicine to placebo, no treatment, NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs), OCPs (oral contraceptive pill), acupuncture and heat compression,"" said lead author Xiaoshu Zhu from the Center for Complementary Medicine Research at the University of Western Sydney.

Period pain affects as many as 50 percent of women of reproductive age and between 60 percent to 85 percent of teenaged girls, leading to absences from school and work. While the cause is still under debate, it is believed to be linked to an imbalance in ovarian hormones.

Researchers said herbs not only relieved pain, but reduced the recurrence of the condition over three months, according to the Cochrane Library journal.

Chinese herbal medicine has been used to treat the condition for hundreds of years and women are increasingly looking for non-drug treatments.

The survey involved 39 trials - 36 in China, and one each in Taiwan, Japan and the Netherlands. Participants given herbal concoctions were prescribed herbs that regulated their "qi" (energy) and blood, warmed their bodies and boosted their kidney and liver functions.

But the researchers said more studies were needed because of the relatively small numbers of participants in each of the trials.

Some of these include Chinese angelica root (danggui), Szechuan lovage root (chuanxiong), red peony root (chishao), white peony root (baishao), Chinese motherwort (yimucao), fennel fruit
(huixiang), nut-grass rhizome (xiangfu), liquorice root (gancao) and cinnamon bark (rougui). In one trial involving 36 women, 53 percent of those who took herbs reported less pain than usual compared with 26 percent in the placebo group.


To download free Google Pack including Google Video, Google Earth, Picassa, Firefox Browser and more visit my blog http://rapidshare-free4all.blogspot.com/

For Cyber Security Tips & Tricks Cick Here

]]>Wed, 17 Oct 2007 22:20:50 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/10/17/Study-Chinese-Herbs-May-Be-Best-at-Relieving.htmlSecurity experts claim first iPhone hackHackers could take control of an iPhone and gain access to text messages and contact information, experts say
A
vulnarabilty has found in the Apple Inc.'s iPhone handset that can help
an attacker to gain access to the private data stored on it. This flaw
has found by a team of security expert of Independent Security
Evaluators (ISE). Hackers could gain access to the iPhone
through a wireless access point or through a website controlled by the
attacker. This was the first major security incident reported.
Numerous hackers have been working to gain access to the iPhone in order to activate certain features or to allow it to be
used on cellular networks. However, this is the first major exploitation of an iPhone security flaw.
The expolit is delivered via a malicious web page opened in the Safari browser on the iPhone, ISE said on its Website. There are several methods that an attacker utilize to get a victim to open such a webpage.
1. An attacker controlled wireless access point:
The
iPhone connects to wireless Internet access networks, such as Wi-Fi, an
attacker could create a network with the same name and encryption
method as one the handset already uses. The attacker could then
substitute a Web page with exploit code to gain access to the phone.
2. A miss configured forum website:
On a website detailing the hack, www.exploitingiphon e.com,
Dr Miller said that the most likely scenarios in which iPhone owners
would fall victim were if they opened a link in an e-mail or text
message, or if they connected to the internet via a rogue wi-fi access
point controlled by hackers.
A
link planted on an unedited or unmoderated online forum, an attacker
could cause the exploit to run in any iPhone browser that viewed the
thread.
3. A link delivered via e-mail or SMS:
A link sent by SMS or e-mail to use make use of the flaw and gain access to the handset.

The
ISE said that when the iPhone's Safari browser opens a malicious Web
page, malicious code can be run on the phone via the flaw, allowing the
attacker to read the iPhone's SMS log, address book, call history, and
voicemail information, which are also then sent to the attacker. It
could send the user's mail passwords to the attacker, send text
messages that sign the user up for pay services, or record audio that
could be relayed to the attacker.



]]>Wed, 25 Jul 2007 20:33:00 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/07/25/Security-experts-claim-first-iPhone.htmlA marriage needs good sex
What does a successful marriage, the sort where couples hold hands by the seaside at 60, need? Good sex, says author Shobhaa De, and great communication.

"All else - commitment, trust, faith - are givens if the first two work well," De told in an interview.

De's latest book, her 14th, is "Spouse", all about the whys and wherefores of marriages.

India's best-known columnist, who is self-confessedly "obsessed with watching marriages", said even as the relationship changed over time, some things remained constant.

"The constants are - seeking love, seeking security, seeking companionship, seeking children," said De, adding that in all this there is also a changing pattern.

"The changing pattern intrigues me. Women are the drivers here. It is women who wish to rewrite the old rules of marriage. They are far more assertive in their articulation of key issues in modern marriage mainly - priorities, time management, financial control and space within the relationship."

But after decades of studying, analysing and contemplating about marriages, De admitted that it's impossible to know everything about a marriage.

"It is impossible to decode any marriage completely - even your own. Just as you believe you know all that there is to know about your partner, you discover areas that completely throw you!

"It is this unpredictability I find fascinating. Marriage in all its complexity remains one of life's great mysteries."

De has dabbled successfully in both fiction and non-fiction but contrary to popular belief, it is non-fiction that she said reflects her life.

"Non-fiction is more issues- and values-based. I put myself on the line and take a position when I write non-fiction, which reflects my beliefs.

"Marriage and motherhood remain non-negotiable in my book. Readers might be shocked and awestruck to discover a conservative wife and mother in real life. I love the surprise element of that," said De, who now wants to write a "definitive" biography.

Source : Shobhaa De


]]>Wed, 27 Dec 2006 11:54:41 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/12/27/A-marriage-needs-good.htmlGreeting from G.Binu
I wish you a happy Christmas and prosperous New Year.

I hope that the comming year filled with happiness and peace.

Regards,

G.Binu
]]>Fri, 22 Dec 2006 20:01:48 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/12/22/Greeting-from.htmlHow to get a nice wife
Do read this................................

There are times in a person's life when he needs to take crucial decisions on his own. Marriage is one of them. Believe me, the decision on whom to marry is the most important decision a person will make in his life. After marriage, your wife is the most important person in your life. She can make or break your life. The mere thought of this is very frightening.

Some of the questions that crop up are -

a.. What sort of a girl do I marry?
b.. Will she adjust in my family?
c.. How can I decide on a girl by just meeting her for a few times?
d.. When should I get married?
e.. This is my life. So, I should choose the girl I marry, but then what if I make a mistake? .. so on and so forth.

I will try to address these & many more questions in the following sections.

The Nine Rules of Arranged marriage

Rule 1 - Magic no. 28

In an ideal scenario, a girl goes to college at the age of 18. By the time she graduates, goes for her post graduation and/ or works for 1-2 years, she will be about 23- 24. This means that she has spent about 5 years away from her home. In the 5 years period, she would meet many smart guys at college or during her first few years on job. So, in all probability it would be difficult to find a good girl older than 24 yrs. Secondly, in Indian families there is lot of pressure on the girl's to get married by the time they become 24-25.

Statistics says that there is a generation gap after every 5 years. So, in such scenario, one would prefer to marry a girl who is about 3-4 years younger to you. Thus, working backwards, an ideal age for a guy to get married is by 28. Earlier the marriage, the better it is.

Well, as we all know, in the current market scenario, there will never be stability in our career. So, I believe there is no such thing as, "I will marry when I settle down".

Rule 2 -- Subset of marriage-able girls

At times you hear statements like, "I am not getting the right match, I will look after 3 months, I will find a better match then". Well the truth is otherwise. The subset of unmarried girl looking for a match is fixed. From this subset, there would be girls who would get married & there would be new girls added who would be looking for a match. The net result is that at any given time, the variety & number of marriage-able girls are fixed.

Rule 3 - Competition for girls

Like all other facets of life, there is lot of competition for good girls. So, if you are looking for a girl who is post graduate, done her Engg, is working, very beautiful, smart, from a good family etc. etc, just think again. There are other guys who are also looking for similar girls & probably they are better off than you in terms of career, looks personality etc. Given a choice every guy would like to marry Aishwarya Rai. So, set your expectations accordingly.

Rule 4 -- Understanding girls

You would have met a lot of people during your life. As we all know, its difficult to judge a person based on a few meetings. I am sure you would agree with me that in case of girls it is even more difficult to understand them in a few meetings. I know people who are still trying to understand their wife. ;-).. Understanding your spouse is a life long assignment. So, then how do you select a girl based on a few meeting? This is where you need to take the help of your parents/ friends & latest technologies like email/chat to choose your girl.

Rule 5 - Society expectation

The selection process is tough on every one who is involved in the process. In arranged marriage, involvement of family & society is pretty high. You can't meet a girl 3-4 times & then say no to her. It is bad for her future. So, you should have a good short-listing criterion. Meet only a few girls & be sure what you are looking for. It is for the benefit of everyone involved.

Rule 6 -- Marriage between equals

Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you also marry into the girl's family. In arranged marriages, family support plays a major role in ensuring a successful marriage. This is where the compatibility of social status, family values & caste/religion plays a major role. Its important to note that in case there is a perfect match between the two families, the marriage is destined to succeed.

Rule 7 - Know yourself

Unlike love marriage, in arranged marriage you first marry a person & then fall in love. So, it's very important that you do a self-assessment on the kind of person you would love. They say, "Opposite attract", while they also say, "Bird of same feather flock together". So, you take a call on what sort of person you like. Take a pen & paper; write down the kind of attributes you are looking for in a girl. Say, she should ideally have the looks of Sonia, the style of Monica, the voice of Sheena, the patience of Rashmi. You will certainly not find the perfect girl, but then you would have a good idea of what you are looking for. The secret here is to set some minimum criteria for selection. Don't forget rule no.3 here.

Rule 8 -- Girl's Beauty

A girl's looks attract, but then no one wants to end up marrying a dumb It is like buying your bike. When you initially buy it, you are crazy about the looks, but later on you love it for its reliability, fuel economy & comfort level. Similarly, a girl's looks are important, but then it should not be the most important criteria. Later on in life, you will get bored of her looks. It is then that her personality & behavior will make all the difference to your marriage. I am sure your parents will be able to advice you a lot better on this topic.

Rule 9 -- Taking advice

As I have mentioned in the next rule, it's very important that the final decision on whom to marry must necessarily be yours. However, don't do the mistake of isolating yourself from the world while planning your marriage. Discuss with your parents & very close friends on this issue. They are your well wishers. Secondly, in such important matters its necessary that you analyze all possibilities. Remember, I am not suggesting that you follow others' advice, but don't forget to take their advice.


Rule 10 -- Own decision

All said & done, it's your marriage & your life that is at stake. Once you are married, you & your wife are the only persons who will be facing the music. Don't marry a girl just because your parents or friends asked you to do so. After marriage, if things don't work out & you end up saying, "It's because of my friends or my parents that I married you", then your marriage is destined for disaster. If the girl is of your choice, it is you who will be responsible for whatever happens. That's when the marriage works out perfectly. So, ensure that you marry the girl of your choice.

How to approach the selection process?

From the day, a person decides to get married; the selection process takes a minimum of 3 months. The whole process needs a lot of patience & commitment. The ideal steps to be followed are:

a.. Definition phase

Define the minimum criteria for the kind of life partner you are looking for in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans. Remember the Rule 3 here.

b.. Lead Generation phase

Place ads in various newspapers, magazines, websites, through friends, family friends, family societies & association etc. You need to exhaust all possible means of getting bio-datas at one go. Remember the Rule 2 here.

c.. Short listing phase

Based on your selection criteria, short-list the interesting bio-datas. The general process followed for correspondence is as follows:

1. The initiator sends a one page profile of himself/herself.

2. Based on the profile, the receiver sends his/her one page profile along with request for detailed profile, photo, horoscope.

3. The initiator then sends the requested information along with a request for similar information.

4. The receiver send similar information.

5. If the bio-data is selected, it is passed over to the next phase.





A.. Casual interaction phase

Based on short listing, about 7 to 10 bio-datas are taken forwarded to this phase. The next step to follow here is to exchange email/ chat ids. The guy & the girl then interact for 10 - 15 days to try & judge mutual compatibility through email/chat.

B.. Family interaction phase

Based on the earlier phase, about 5 leads are taken for consideration in this phase. During this phase, the parents get involved & check the background information about the families to find mutual compatibility.

C.. The dating phase

Based on the earlier phase about 3 leads are taken forward to this phase. During this phase, the guy & the girl interact by going out alone for 2-3 times. The guy needs to prepare a set of simple questions like who is your favorite star, what are your hobbies? He needs to use his judgment to analyze the girl based on her responses.

D.. The D-day phase

Finally, the D-day comes when the guy has to select the girl he wants to spend his life with. If the process if followed systematically, there will be no ambiguity in deciding who should be your life partner.

Finally, my dear friends, marriage is all about compromises. In spite of all the planning that you do, there are a lot of uncertainties in a marriage. In fact this is the best part about marriage. Just remember that the person you marry must be of your choice. In such case, there would be no going back for both of you.

A few words of advice: To make your marriage a success; just believe in the age-old virtue, "Never do anything to others that you don't like for yourself".

Provided by:
www.FoolzParadize.Org


]]>Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:04:53 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/12/15/How-to-get-a-nice.htmlHow much of your past should you reveal?From promiscuousness to a serious relationship is quite a journey. But having traversed it, the question that arises now is that should you let this woman of your dreams know all about your past.
Everyone makes mistake but your honesty and open-mindedness about accepting your mistakes and eagerness to change for the better is bound to impress her. Having said all this, stick to it to the last alphabet. Honesty and loyalty are doctrines that you must not destroy for your won good. Love her genuinely and make her feel loved True love can erase all doubts. If you are able to make her feel genuinely loved, making her forget your past, however promiscuous it may have been, should not be a tough task to achieve. The mantra is that, she might stay, she might go but in any case she deserves to know. Happy confessing!



]]>Fri, 08 Dec 2006 14:44:27 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/12/08/How-much-of-your-past-should-you.htmlIs money the root of your problems?You are madly in love with him and he dotes on you like crazy. In fact he makes your world go in a tizzy with happiness. But the devil called money is now tip toeing into your relationship. And ironically- not the lack of it, but supposedly an excess of it. In short, you are earning more than your man. Is seeing a guy who earns less than you a matter of concern? Even if it does not bother him, is it playing on your mind? Are you getting more aggressive or is he getting too insecure and defensive? It's all about the money honey! Money is a symbol of power and talent. It's true that a man's ability to single-handedly support his family was a point of pride a generation ago. It is also true that a perk that came with earning money was an assumption that the man therefore had the right to a greater say in family life. However unhappy people were with the arrangement, there was a certain sense that the man was supposed to be the head of the household and everyone else's roles fell into line behind his. No longer! When a woman earns more, her say in the family also increases. She becomes an important force whose opinion holds weight and here begins the power play between the couple which may not be pleasant at all times. To make matters worse, how much you earn is taken as a deterrent of your talent and your worth. If you earn more than your man, it is almost taken for granted that you are more talented and are doing far better for yourself than him. Others may draw such comparisons rather publicly and your man is most likely to find it difficult to digest and uncomfortable to face. Oops! The house work balance might be tilting too. Anita, 28, who is living in with her boyfriend of 3 years says, "Things were ok when we were in the same company and I was a rung below him in the same team. We used to return home together and I used to manage most of the housework without much stress. But a few months ago, I got a better job offer and I moved on. Now I reach home almost 2 hours after he does and by the time I come, I am already so tired that the thought of wrapping up work at home is revolting. Arguments are order of the day when I insist on ordering food from outside and urge him to help me out. He says that he never told me to be so career conscious and over-earn and would prefer if I took up a less stressful job with smaller hours and of course lesser pay packet. Basically, the fact that I earn more, which means I am doing better, is hurting his ego and that's creating tensions between us." Rucha, 31, a consultant in a leading MNC echoes the same feeling. She says, "If you put in 13-hour day at the office, you simply can't come home and cook dinner too and take care of the laundry and then party and socialize also as much as your man wants you to. Roles and responsibilities have to be distributed. However, most men do not want to accept the role redistribution and their eternal argument is that why do you do something you can't handle. take up something less challenging and stressful. But the underlying issue remains that they can't see us doing better." Tips on how to avoid money tiffs! Considering that love exists and you do want togetherness with this guy, it makes sense to hold the money devil by its horns and tame it so that it doesn't come between the two of you. Get a grip right now on the situation by using a bit of humility, common senses, patience and tact. Here's how. • Understand that you have chosen to live with and love this guy. Whatever be his financial situation, he is desirable to you and should remain so. After all, it does not take financial positions and situations to take a turn. • Make your parents understand this as well. Don't allow them to bring up the money talk and the disparity in your incomes in front of him. This will instill inferiority complex in your man and might make him feel that he is being subjugated to humility. Avoid such discussions with friends also. Besides, it is your personal arena, do not make your income disparity open to public analysis. • Do not over insist on footing the bill at a restaurant or while on a shopping expedition with your man. If he wishes to pay, let him. And never ever pass comments such as, "Its ok honey let me pay. Anyway I earn much more so I can afford this." By doing this, you will be trampling all over his self-respect. • Do not keep drumming in the fact in that you earn more and you are doing better. • Do not keep discussing his career moves with him with an air of authority just because you are financially more sound. This will make him feel that you are in the driving seat and he is being babied. Most men will detest the feeling. • Do not make major buying decisions or financial decisions like a picking up a fridge or a home theater etc without his knowledge or his consultation. • Avoid giving him an overtly expensive gift without his knowledge. He might take this an offense and start comparing his purchasing capacity with yours. • If you are living in or are married, then it makes sense to have a joint account. Deposit equal amounts in this account and use this money for all joint expenditures. This will take care of most of the strife. Remember that money can't buy you love. Also remember that money has the power to break the strongest of bonds. Ensure that you don't fall pray to its power-play. Relish togetherness!
]]>Sat, 02 Dec 2006 10:32:13 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/12/02/Is-money-the-root-of-your.html50 Mistakes

Just in case you thought the route to sexual bliss was straightforward, here's a list of things to avoid. They're all pretty much guaranteed passion killers for a woman - and if your check list contains more than ten of these, you've got some serious work to do on your sexual etiquette!

1 Going straight for the naughty bits

You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.

2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying to floss her teeth.

3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain - and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4 Not stroking and caressing her

A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.

5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor

If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under sixteen.

8 Not shaving before sex

When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.

10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she's ready

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12 Dropping the condom on the floor

Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation

Like we said above, most women just find this irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be out shopping.

15 Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.

16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.

17 Expecting her to shave for you

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that graciously.

18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready, willing and able

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19 Entering her without asking her first

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex.

20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can't find the way in

This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

When you've achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21 Expecting her to make love bottom up

Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.

22 Thrusting too hard

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren't many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation". See also number 26.

23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".

24 Asking her how it was for her

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?"

25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man, you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of those, now would you?

27 Trying to force her head towards your cock

Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: "There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure....."

28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she's giving you oral

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29 Holding her head when she goes down on you

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK

The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to come is not permitted.

31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life

Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like that, OK?

32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that's OK with her

Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33 Apologizing for the size of your penis

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really believe it, that's what she wants to hear.

35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined you

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before you try this one.

36 Making her do all the work

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.

39 Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40 Not romancing her

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's into a little dominance play

No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough to appreciate it

When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission

Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48 Not controlling your ejaculation

Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex

A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.

50 Not cleaning up after sex

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren't using condoms.

There you go! And if you've got any more sexual tips for sexual success, send them to us at the email address in the box below.

About The Author
Rod Phillips is an online sexual counselor at Sex and Relationships - http://www.sex-and-relationships.com/index.html , Send your sex tips to tips@sex-and-relationships.com , For more information on controlling your ejaculation, see: End Premature Ejaculation Now! - http://www.end-premature-ejaculation-now.com/index.html.


Related articles

* Why Every Woman Needs Some "Me Time" (And How To Get It)
* Africa in the period of sexual revolution
* What You Can Do to Support Women’s Rights, Part I
* What You Can Do to Support Women’s Rights, Part II
* What You Can Do to Support Women’s Rights, Part III]]>Tue, 21 Nov 2006 18:28:55 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/11/21/50.htmlEthickal HackingTue, 07 Nov 2006 10:37:37 +0530http://redhacker.rediffiland.com/blogs/2006/11/07/Ethickal.html